Your girlfriend is the most important person in your life, and you want to look your best for her. But you also want to be careful about your health, so you’re concerned about your weight. Maybe you’ve already had a health scare, and you’re afraid of what might happen if you gain even a few more pounds. Or, maybe you’re just entering into a committed relationship and want to make sure she sees your best side. Regardless of the reason, you want to convince your girlfriend to lose weight. But how can you do this? How can you make her understand how much you care when you have so much on your mind?
First, you need to set some ground rules. You don’t want to freak her out by coming on too strong. You want to be the supportive boyfriend she needs, which means you have to tread lightly. So before you say anything, you should establish what you’re thinking. Ask her if she’s okay with you giving her some tips on how to lose weight. Tell her you want to be helpful but also want to make sure she’s comfortable with you seeing her body. And when she agrees, it’s time for you to speak.
You don’t want to overwhelm her with a laundry list of suggestions. Offer her some simple tips on how to lose weight, like going for a walk or getting some fresh air, and see how she responds. If she agrees that those are helpful, then you can suggest diet changes and workout routines. But if she doesn’t seem convinced, it’s time to back off.
If she’s in denial about her weight, you can help her by simply acknowledging that she does have a weight problem. Say things like, “Honey, you’re definitely too heavy.” Or, “You look beautiful just the way you are,” which will help her to believe you when you suggest making changes. If she agrees that she needs to lose weight, but doesn’t seem interested in changing her ways, then it’s time for you to back off and show her how much you care. Maybe you can suggest another way she can help herself, like talking to a professional or finding a support group.
Make It A Non-Pushy Effort
Some men are aggressive about wanting to change their girlfriends’ bodies. They’ll say things like, “You’re fat, let’s go for a jog,” or “You need to diet, let’s go for a walk.” This may work on some women, but not all. And it’s not fair to the nice guy you’re trying to impress.
So instead of pushing her to lose weight, you should be working toward a healthy relationship. Which means you should be showing her you care by doing things that make her feel comfortable and special. So if she feels that getting in shape is a chore, or that you’re always on her case about something, then it will be hard for her to see you as a supportive person. She will start to wonder if you’re just looking for an excuse to control her.
Speak From A Place Of Good Will
It’s easy for men to be angry at women for the way they look. And it’s not just about appearance, either. Many men feel the need to change the way women act just to make them happier. Women are supposed to be happy with the way they look, but many men feel the need to change the way they act as well. Maybe you feel this way about your girlfriend. But it doesn’t need to be her fault you feel this way. You can still love her regardless.
Instead of getting angry, take a step back and ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” Try to identify the root of the problem so you can fix it, or at least alleviate it. Is it because she’s not smiling enough? Is it because she’s not talking to you enough? Is it because she’s ignoring you sometimes? Is it because she’s not giving you enough attention?
Once you identify the problem, it’s easier to solve. You can start by expressing your feelings and working together to find a solution. Say things like, “You know what, Vanessa? I feel like we need to work on our relationship.” Or, “You’re acting distant. Is everything okay?” To solve problems, you need to look at both sides of the equation. And if she doesn’t seem convinced she needs to change, but you know it’s the right thing for both of you, then it’s time to talk some more.
Men love to use analogies and metaphors when talking about sex and relationships. It’s not that we’re not logical or direct, but expressing ourselves in this way helps us connect with each other. So when you’re trying to persuade your girlfriend to lose weight, you can use metaphors to your advantage. For example, you can say, “Sweetheart, you’re like a beautiful Ferrari that needs to be taken out for a spin. But let’s be careful not to overload the engine. Let’s start by taking it easy, driving up the boulevard, and smelling the exhaust. Then, when we’re feeling adventurous, let’s take it out for a quick spin around the block. But let’s not push it too far. We don’t want to ruin the vehicle or upset the driver.”
These are all perfectly valid reasons to take her out for a drive, and they all have a direct relationship to encouraging her to lose weight. But instead of saying it in a way that makes her want to lose weight, you can use your metaphors to make her understand how much you care about her.
If your girlfriend is not interested in changing her lifestyle to lose weight, then you should not pressure her. It is not your place to tell her she should lose weight, or that she’s not good enough just the way she is. Offer her ways she can change, without criticizing her or trying to force her into changing. For example, if she doesn’t want to go for a jog, then tell her about all the different ways you know she can get exercise. Or if she doesn’t want to eat healthy, then suggest a new burger joint she can try out.
Instead of saying, “Vanessa, you NEED to lose weight,” say, “Hey, sweetie. You know what? You’re not always going to feel this way. And that’s okay. We all get overwhelmed by life sometimes. But what I want you to do is try out this new burger joint I heard about. And if that doesn’t sound good to you, then we’ll go for a jog, or get a bike, or walk the dog, or take a swim. There are so many ways we can get moving again. And that’s what’s important. It’s not about losing weight, it’s about getting active again.”
This is a much kinder and more respectful approach than telling her she needs to lose weight, or that she’s fat. It’s a basic principle in arguing: be fair, give her alternatives, and acknowledge her feelings. So even though you want to encourage her to lose weight, do it in a way that’s not harmful to her. Being physically active can have many positive effects on your girlfriend’s health, so offering her an alternative way to get moving again can only be for the best.
Don’t be afraid to back off if your girlfriend doesn’t seem interested in changing. Her not wanting to lose weight does not mean you’re not allowed to help her. It simply means you should not push her. Let her know you want to be there for her, and that you care about her well-being. Tell her how much you appreciate her openness toward you, and that you’ll be there for her whenever she needs you. Just make sure you don’t take things too far. Trying to change another person without their consent is wrong.
Nowadays, many couples are having trouble losing weight together. It’s not that couples can’t lose weight together, it’s that they don’t know how to make each other understand that they need to lose weight separately. If your girlfriend is not ready to accept your help, then make sure you’re still there for her. Even if she seems to be turning her back on you, it’s not because she doesn’t care about you, she’s just not ready to deal with it yet. Give her time, be there for her, and make her feel like she can confide in you. This way, in the future, you’ll both be able to work together to reach your goals. And that’s what’s important. It’s not about winning or losing, it’s about coming together as a couple, working toward a healthier lifestyle, and feeling comfortable enough with each other that you want to be open about your needs and challenges. If your girlfriend is not ready to accept your help yet, then be there for her, and make sure she knows you’re available to support and encourage her to change.